This One's for the Girls
"This ones for the girls who've ever had a broken heart who've wished upon a shooting star, you're beautiful the way you are. This ones for the girls." Thank you Faith Hill, love that song!
Ok but really, this one is for the girls..
"She's just not that cute."
My friend, let's name her Claire, told me this sentence that came up in conversation between Claire and a girl I don't know. When Claire told me this, I was honestly really hurt. How could she think I wasn't cute? I get called cute all the time because I am cute, duh. lol no not really but seriously this hurt my feelings so bad. I wanted everyone to like me and think highly of me. I cared what people thought of me.
One day, I was with my friend and we were scrolling through insta together and we came across one picture and I said, "I just don't think she's cute." In that moment I realized I was doing the same thing to someone I didn't even know either. I was judging and criticizing someone basically out of habit. Ugh. That is so bad in so many ways. It made me feel worse because I remembered how hurt I was.
How many times do we scroll social media when we are with our friends and trash talk other girls? Don't lie, for most of us including myself it's a lot. "What is she wearing that for?" "I would not be doing (fill in the blank), if I was her." "I can't believe she's out doing that."
My goodness the hate girls are giving other girls. It is so sad and I wish our words could build each other up as easily as we tear each other down. Proverbs 12:25 says, "Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up." Being intentional with our words is powerful. Let me give you some of the best advice I have received. (one day I'll have some cool advice to give of my own) I read this in Rachel Hollis' book, Girl, Wash Your Face. If you haven't read it, you are truly missing out on some real life talk so get it pronto, ladies. Any-whos the best advice I've been given:
"Someone else's opinion of you is none of your business."
Wow. If we actually applied that, imagine how much happier we would be. Today, take some time to stop and think about if the decisions you make just on a daily basis are affected by other people's opinions.
Getting ready every day was a place in my life that was affected by other's opinions. When I would pick out my outfit, I wanted to pick the perfect, cutest outfit because I was frequently complimented on my cute and fashionable outfit. Then that became a compliment I stressed myself out over. I would waste so much time in my closet going through hundreds of pieces of clothes just to say I have nothing to wear. All of that worry and stress because I cared so much about other people's opinions.
Let me remind you quickly what God says about worrying, Mathew 6:25. If God takes care of the birds and the wildflowers, how much more will He do for you? You don't add anything to your situation by worrying about it. (verse 27)
Speaking kind of others is not just a nice thing to do. It is commanded by God. Ephesians 4:29 says, "No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear." If anybody listens to Sadie Robertson's podcast can I get a "Whoa that's gooood." (if you aren't listening to her podcast, what are you even doing with your life, lol)
Ladies, let's try to be more intentional with our words. Let's stop someone when they are gossiping rather than joining in. Instead of negative things, let's say uplifting things. Being able to do that says so much about you. I know I'm not the only one who has thought, "well she talks smack about everybody so I know she talks about me too." We don't want people to think that about us so let's encourage others, not drag them down. The world is cruel enough on it's on so come on sisters in Christ, be the change!
-TK